October 15, 2003 - 2:28 p.m.
It's a day on the phone.
I've talked with moving companies, county water authorities, and more customer service representatives than a reasonable person should tolerate in one afternoon. Getting the gas scheduled was an ordeal in and of itself. I called Columbia Gas, since they were the company listed in the South Riding information but was told (after the obligatory wait on hold) that they did not service my new address. I called Washington Gas and received the same information. Irritated, I went directly to the current homeowners and found out they have an account with Washington. I called WG back again, ready to raise holy hell, and happened to draw the nicest and most intelligent person on their payroll, who kindly looked up my new address and got my account information set up.
I would complain that none of these companies have online forms that would prevent the cauliflower ear I'm developing but that has proved to be less convenient, too. Last week I used Virginia Power's website to schedule an account transfer and almost immediately received a "we can't find your address" email. Although I sent a message to their customer service department with more information and confirming that I had sent my correct address, I had heard nothing more from them. So I called. Estimated time on hold: 18 minutes. That's 18 minutes of getting Marcus ready for his nap, moving a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, cleaning up the bathroom after Zachary "missed," and getting one hell of a crick in my neck. At 18 minutes, 45 seconds I was dialing the phone again for NOVEC because VEPCO confirmed that they could not service my new residence.
NOVEC is the Northern Virginia Electric Cooperative - one goofy long name which I am certain will spur foxphotog to refer to the area as "Communist Loudoun." Like most other companies, they employ the telephone labyrinth of "if you are using a touch tone phone, press 1" and "for English, press 2." After a day listening to all kinds of these systems, I nearly doubled over in laughter after the later option resulted in a distinct change of recorded voice. It was English, alright, but Loudon county style. Instead of the even toned female voice, this was male and he was... local. Thank you fer callin' the Northern Virginia Electric Cooperative. We're experiencin' widespread outages at this time on account'a high winds... I pressed 0 to move on to the customer service department, still giggling.
Guess you had to be there.
Next up - the phone company. Somehow I don't think they will be quite so amusing.
