December 15, 2004 - 8:26 a.m.
...but I can't do you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory - they're all blood you see. (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, act 1)
I've been having some vivid dreams lately. At this point in my life, when sleep is often interrupted and I'm so tired going to bed to begin with, I generally wake from a dark sleep with no memory of my dreams. But the past few weeks have been different.
There are 2 prevailing themes in my dreams: rain and blood. (But never at the same time. So after a string of blood dreams and no rain dreams, my subconscious starts to feel a little sticky.) And lately, they've all been blood.
They aren't difficult to interpret, if you are into that sort of thing (and I am). In the dream, I bleed all over everything. Not like a Monty Python sketch with projectile fountains, I just keep finding myself and things around me soaked or covered in my own gore. So I change my clothes a multitude of times, I run the laundry, I mop and clean the house. Whatever else is going on in the dream never really gets addressed - and it's always something very annoying. The dreams are never panicky or really all that disgusting - just irritating and exhausting. Which is what the dream is about - being drained.
Those finally stopped for a while but last night was worse, I think. I dreamed that a meteor of enormous size was going to hit the Earth, killing us all for certain. People were getting drunk, lighting off fireworks, trying to take their minds off it all on the last night. I sat outside with my boys in my lap, both of them completely unaware of their brief futures, and watched the fireworks with them... and waited. A horrifically hopeless dream.
Could really use some rain.
